Copyright 2006 Deborah Torres Patel
This 3 part article series tells you how to say the right thing in awkward situations. In part one you will discover how to start a conversation at a posh dinner party, comfort a depressed colleague that just got fired or had a death in the family, stop a stranger from cutting into a line in front of you, and what to say if someone snidely remarks that you've put on weight.
SITUATION 1
You’re seated next to a stranger at a posh dinner and have to start a polite conversation
WHAT TO SAY
Start off with a simple “Hi. My name is _______. What’s yours? It’s very nice to meet you.” Then discuss the function itself. For example, if it’s a charity ball or an elaborate wedding dinner you can chat about particulars of the event or people/interests you might have in common.
SITUATION 2
A colleague, whom you’re on friendly terms with, tells you she is fired
WHAT TO SAY
Respond honestly and ask questions about what happened to allow your colleague to vent.
“I’m shocked. What happened? Were you given a warning by HR before? etc”
After your colleague has gotten everything off her chest encourage her with hopeful reassurance.
“Everything happens for a reason. I’m sure there is going to be a better opportunity that comes your way as a result of this seemingly negative short term circumstance.”
SITUATION 3
Someone tries to cut into the queue in front of you
WHAT TO SAY
If you are the only person waiting, politely say “Excuse me. I was here first. I am also waiting to be served.”
If there is a long line say “Excuse me. We are all waiting to be served. Kindly take your place at the back of the queue.”
SITUATION 4
You’ve just heard your colleague’s family member has passed away
WHAT TO SAY
Proactively organize an office donation and present it to your colleague.
You could say the following on behalf of yourself or your colleagues. “Please accept my/our deepest sympathies. I know that there are really no words to describe your loss. Know I’m here for you anytime if you need someone to talk to. If there is any extra work to be handled I’d/we’d be happy to help you out."
If you’ve personally experienced the situation before you could add, “I know what it’s like to lose a loved one and how challenging this time can be.”
If you are religious or spiritual you could also say, “Your family will be in my thoughts and prayers”.
SITUATION 5
An acquaintance remarks snidely that you have put on weight
WHAT TO SAY
If you’re fine with your weight say, “Interesting you should mention my weight. My friends think I look really healthy. I feel great.”
If for some medical reason you’ve put on weight say, “I’m impressed you noticed my weight gain. Actually I’ve been quite sick and the weight gain is an effect of my illness. When I’m feeling 100% again, I’m sure the pounds will drop off naturally.”
If you normally have weight challenges say, “Yes I have put on a little weight. Too much of the good life and celebration! (Big smile) Actually, I’ve just started a weight management program and am slowly retraining myself to eat to live rather than live to eat.”
Deborah Torres Patel is an internationally acclaimed expert on self expression and the fine arts of voice & communication. To receive ongoing tips & subscribe for complimentary online training sign up at www.expressingyou.com .
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